Oliver Burkeman(0/0)
Any attempt to bring out ideas into reality must fall short
We fail to see, or refuse to accept, that any attempt to bring our ideas into concrete reality must inevitably fall short of our dreams, no matter how brilliantly we succeed in carrying things off–because reality, unlike fantasy, is a realm in which we don’t have limitless control, and can’t possibly hope to meet our perfectionist standards.
Embrace your limits to sap distraction
When you focus on something you deem important, you’re forced to face your limits, an experience that feels especially uncomfortable precisely because the task at hand is one you value so much… Killing time on the internet often doesn’t feel especially fun, these days. But it doesn’t need to feel fun. In order to dull the pain of finitude, it just needs to make you feel unconstrained… The overarching point is that what we think of as “distractions” aren’t the ultimate cause of our being distracted.…
Everything worth doing depends on cooperating with others
Our culture’s ideal is that you alone should control your schedule, doing whatever you prefer, whenever you want–because it’s scary to confront the truth that almost everything worth doing, from marriage and parenting to business or politics, depends on cooperating with others, and therefore on exposing yourself to the emotional uncertainties of relationships.
It is the effort that counts
Contrary to the cliché, it isn’t really the thought that counts, but the effort–which is to say, the inconvenience. When you render the process more convenient, you drain it of its meaning.
My actual life will inevitably prove disappointing by comparision with the fantasy
It’s easy for me to fantasize about, say, a life spent achieving stellar professional success, while also excelling as a parent and partner, while also dedicating myself to training for marathons or lengthy meditation retreats or volunteering in my community–because so long as I’m only fantasizing, I get to imagine all of them unfolding simultaneously and flawlessly. As soon as I start trying to live any of those lives, though, I’ll be forced to make trade-offs–to put less time than I’d like into one of those domains, so as to make space for another–and to accept that nothing I do will go perfectly anyway, with the result that my actual life will inevitably prove disappointing by comparison with the fantasy.…
Neglect the right things
The real measure of any time management technique is whether or not it helps you neglect the right things.
Second tier priorities are the most seductive
[Warren Buffett] tells the [pilot] to make a list of the top twenty-five things he wants out of life and then to arrange them in order, from the most important to the least. The top five, Buffett says, should be those around which he organizes his time. But contrary to what the pilot might have been expecting to hear, the remaining twenty, Buffett allegedly explains, aren’t the second-tier priorities to which he should turn when he gets the chance.…