This is a running log for the Bilson family, written mostly by the ship’s captain (me). It’s in Facebook-style order to share with those who care what we’re up to these days.
Below are logs from the past six months. See the archive at the bottom of the page to view any log.
I’ve been in Chicago this week at the Performance Trust Fall event. The IT department has been running a hackathon. My contribution on the team was developing a trial MCP server to integrate database access into potential LLM agents. It’s pretty cool when it works.
I’ve also discovered that Anthropic, the makers of Claude, have defined a bunch of MCP servers which can be run on one’s computer to grant access to local files for the LLM. When I’m back on my own machine, I’d like to see if I could get it to consume the original Markdown files that comprise this site.
My reading for this Chicago trip has been Isabel Wilkerson’s Caste: The Origins of our Discontents. Not only ought the subject matter be required reading for any American or American-to-be; her writing is exceptional. She addresses some of the most horrific elements of American history with candor while developing empathy for both ends of the caste system. It’s taken me a few months to start reading this book because of anticipated grief, anger and despair. Yet Wilkerson has crafted a work so great that it pulls no punches yet doesn’t leave one in a puddle on the floor.
LLM chats are replacing my web search usage. When I’m solving a software problem a succinct chat response, complete with an example custom to my situation, is exactly what I used to look for in my search queue. When I’m looking for general information, my browser (Arc) will search 10+ sites and aggregate the answers. That’s how I discovered tickets to The Sound of Music two nights ago, by searching for things to do in Chicago today.
Quality information is a baseline necessity for an LLM to consume, but all that grows from that baseline - summaries, comparisons, compilations, syntheses - can be so quickly and thoroughly accomplished by an LLM that it’s hardly useful anymore. Developers of a public API need to produce accurate documentation, but now an LLM can generate the examples on-the-fly. Theatre events need to be published, but it’s not useful for a human to compile date night ideas.
For my own website, the most valuable content is that which offers a definition or sample of an idea. What I personally benefit from is not those building blocks but the ways that insights spark from synthesis. Ironically, that makes my site’s content mostly useful as a bare repository, with tools on top that bring out its value. I wonder if there’s a way to go backwards; to figure out what building blocks are missing from a more robust final result?
Graham is loving school. So much he can’t sleep at night because he’s so excited to be at school again the next day. He’s making new friends, is over-the-moon about his new writing journal, and has begun violin lessons.
Royal’s confidence at school has been growing. Like Graham before him, his 5 1/2 year old year switched something in his brain. Whereas last year he didn’t care to do lessons, now he’s excited about progressing through the red boxes so he can start on the yellow. He’s also making new friends and getting into less trouble.
Graham caught an enormous rainbow trout fishing off the bridge at Paktola reservoir yesterday morning. It was beyond his fishing pole’s ability to reel in, but we drew the fish over to the bank and I was able to get it into our bucket from there. Graham and Royal are both definitively catch-and-release, so we returned it right after the photo.
Amie and I finished “Catcher in the Rye” last night. I never would have made it through to the end without Amie’s encouragement!
For most of the book I thought, “wow, I guess this is a classic because it’s colloquial? Definitely not because it’s interesting!” I wouldn’t have caught the twist on the last page if Amie hadn’t pointed it out. And just like that, a terrible book becomes a thought-provoking novel. Impressive!
I don’t recommend it per se, but there are some who will enjoy the masterful grasp on the interior dialog of depression.
First, I’ve known for a few years I have the acumen and motivation for doctoral research. I’d read Umberto Eco’s seminal work on the topic, How To Write a Thesis, a few years ago and have been pondering thesis ideas ever since. As a man, a father and a model, I feel it’s imperative to go as far as I am capable with the time and ability given me.
Second, I’ve been a practitioner in the disciple-making movement space for over twelve years. In this time, my commitment to the principles and confidence of its relevance for the Church in the USA has only burned hotter. I want to do my part to push the legitimacy of DMM for our context, and adding my doctoral thesis to the subject of modern movements is a powerful way to do so.
Third, I anticipate that further influence among church leaders requires more evidence of my expertise than my résumé. A doctoral thesis in my subject has the greatest chance to open more doors and minds in my middle years.
Amie and I took a blitz trip to Denver for a Regina Spektor concert. What happened in Denver far exceeds the swift turnaround, however.
We visited Matthew, Michelle, Tommy, Jaq and Hezekiah. We didn’t drive back to our hotel until 0200! Besides abundant laughter and catching up, we also discovered that Matthew and Michelle are facilitating a DBS group and actively starting more. It was a surreal experience to have DBS pitched to us, since we’ve been the advocates for the past 12 years.
The concert was far beyond my hopes. Regina started by reciting Mr. Rogers’ song about liking you just the way you are. She played a wide selection of her work (all of which I’ve memorized by now) and I discovered so much more about her art and perspective by hearing her in person. Amie said it best - her child-like freedom and playfulness is beautiful and so spiritually deep.
The boys stayed home and went camping with Grandma. They had an ecstatic time playing, swimming, eating, and rodeoing,
Since my last log we’ve all been to Chicago for a week and to Rimrock Family Camp. It’s not felt overly hectic, and somehow we’ve avoided obvious illness (astounding!), but full enough that I’ve only just began to look past the next three days. We have one more trip next weekend - a Regina Spektor concert - and then the summer activities are, I think, wrapped up.
We’re in prep mode for our trip to De Smet and Sioux Falls. We still need sufficient snacks and meals for the first two days, and there’s some packing to do, but our general itinerary is set. I’m not feeling particularly eager about the trip at the moment; mostly because we’ve just begun that time of year when my allergies ambush me mercilessly.
Ours is a journey towards maturity, towards wholeness. As we become more whole our sense of identity steadies. How much anguish is caused by insecurity!
Yet the anguish of insecurity prods us to seek validating relationship. Perhaps validation in relationship with humans or animals. A Christian learns to seek it in prayer to the Father.
One who moves towards wholeness craves validation less and from better sources. An insecure teen may seek validation in relationships which are harmful and self-destructive but will become more discerning and less recklessly driven as they mature. A Christian who craves validation from the Father has found the source par-excellence and needs never find another. However, such a one’s motivations shift as insecurity diminishes.
When I was a younger man, how much of my anguished prayer was birthed of insecurity! But it will not do to live forever in uncertainty; I must become whole. The formulas to which I once clung to diminish my pain are less practiced without the nipping hounds of insecurity to drive me into them (though my past motives are never a subject of certainty).
Wholeness leads toward freedom, or choice untainted by insecurity. The whole individual, as in the case of the Christ, is constrained only by one’s own delight of others and riches of character. He chooses relationship with the Father and those he meets solely because he chooses. He is who he is. And so also must we become if we are to be his companion/ally/suitable helper/bride. [Gen 2:20] #WalkingMusings
In my experience, transition from insecurity towards wholeness provokes disconcerting feelings. The release of false motivation is like loosing one’s boat from a sure anchor to drift into misty waters in search of another anchor-spot. Courage is essential. At this present stage I possess the courage, but I wish the grappling-hook attraction of a treasure hunt, the insecurity-hound’s opposite.
Graham, Royal and I visited a local bike shop to explore buying a new bike for Graham. I’d thought to just explore and purchase later, but Graham took so well to this Specialized bike that we walked away with it.
I’ve been so proud of Graham’s persistence in practicing gear shifting and handlebar brakes and his generous spirit and encouragement for Royal, and proud of Royal’s lack of jealousy towards Graham and his tenacity in practicing to pedal Graham’s blue Strider bike (which was a much harder transition for Graham than gears and brakes have been).
I’ve agreed to join a summer DnD campaign with my neighbor Dominic Cossi and his family! I’ve been surprised how much I’ve enjoyed thinking up a backstory for my character (modeled after an amalgamation of characters in Stormlight Archives). I’m thinking this’ll be a good outlet for my budding interest in amateur acting, he he.
