I’ve logged few new observations from meditating during the watches of the night, one of which is that god wants more humans.
2021/10 Ship's Log
I’m launching a new effort to read through the Hebrew Bible. My Bible intake has waned in recent years, dipping at times to essentially zero. The Bible Project has been a source of inspiration and delight for months now, and I’m grateful for it, but I’ve begun to use it as a crutch. In a desire to read the Bible with the rich layers that Tim and John reveal, I’ve hoped that I’ll learn how to explore the Bible that way by listening to many, many examples. But I remember now that I’ve read the Bible from the beginning with an awareness, albeit limited, of its interconnected and patterned nature. This is not a new skill, but a growing skill.
I’m reading three segments of the Hebrew Bible in tandem: Torah, Prophets, and Writings.
Amie’s back! Graham, Royal and I picked her up after school yesterday. The flight was delayed by weather so we ended up circling the airport for a bit. Graham slept through it and Royal was only mildly agitated.
Amie had a fabulous time in Maine. I won’t spoil her stories, but you should ask her about the time Olivia gave her a “treatment.”
Amie brought home special lobster suckers. Royal enjoyed his a lot…
Amie flew to Maine this morning. Graham, Royal and I woke early to drive her to the airport. We went straight to the skate park in Niles afterward.
The boys have done extremely well today, even though at times they miss their mama. Graham has his moments but for the most part he’s very helpful. We spent almost two hours at the skate park with no meltdowns or crazy-making.
We ate lunch a half-hour early because Royal was sleepy. He didn’t put up a fuss when I placed him into bed. Graham played quietly while I took a shower, then an hour-long nap. He didn’t want snuggles nor did he demand television.
Royal was awake shortly after I awoke. We grabbed a snack and headed for the Chicago Botanic Gardens. To my surprise and delight, the jack-o-lanterns were out! Royal squealed with delight over and over; he never seemed to tire of looking at them. Graham sat in the stroller mostly, but I think he was having a good time. We needed to turn back because it takes so long for Royal to walk anywhere, but Graham agreed to hold Royal in his lap and we did the entire circuit.
I cooked mozzarella ravioli for us when we made it home, and the boys ate decently well. Then we played chase before Royal’s bedtime. When Royal was settled, Graham and I did something he never gets to do - we watched a little of a shark documentary. Probably should have vetted it before we began - I thought it was scary - but I guess we’ll see if it affects Graham. The Jippy and Dumper tale was about meeting a shark so hopefully we were able to process the experience together 🤞.
Royal and I picked up 264" of PVC pipe for Halloween costumes today. You’ll have to wait to see why. Graham and I found a fun use for them in the meantime - rolling tiny plastic balls! This might be a fun strategy for a homemade Christmas gift this year…
As though we had enough, Amie’s taking Royal to the ER.
Why, you ask? He shoved a black bean up his nose. 🙄
Amie was able to get right in without a wait. But while Royal was happily playing in the ER bay, the bean fell out!
The doctor looked him over anyways and remarked how well-behaved Royal was, even when the doctor was looking up his nose. Only we know the truth…
No, we didn’t move to Arizona (sadly 😩). This was taken in one of the Chicago Botanic Garden’s greenhouses.
Today I upgraded my Raspberry Pi to Bullseye!
The latest Debian main distribution, Bullseye, was released on August 14th. I’ve been nervous about making the upgrade lest it take down the services I use on a daily basis, but it was surprisingly simple. Thanks to all those who contribute to Debian releases!
The best part is that Podman is now officially supported. Commands like podman stats now work as expected, and I can reliably pull new updates when they’re released. Having used Podman for a few months now, I’ve grown to prefer it to Docker. I’m stoked that Podman desktop version will be available for my machine… someday.
It’s often on my mind to migrate my setup to the cloud, perhaps Vultr, but it’s opportunities to fully operate my server that make me stay loyally attached to my Pi. It’s also the most cost effective.
After many months of dodging the bullet, Graham tested positive for COVID. He and Royal will be home for the next two weeks.
Symptom-wise, nothing more than a low-grade fever presents itself. Even without symptoms, still a crushing blow to over-stressed parents
(weeps pitiously in the corner next to the train set and children’s books).
Since Friday I’ve been too overwhelmed with disappointment and anxiety to do more than the bare minimum; clean, eat, watch. A three-day weekend spent in a daze, the anxiety only worsening as the hours slip away. The worst of it may finally be passing but to be this derailed doesn’t speak well of my emotional reserves.
Let’s practice a little gratitude. I’m thankful for:
- About fifteen years of life with Jesus. He’s restored me out of crippling seasons so many times that my hope goes deep and the discouragement doesn’t last as long.
- Amie’s perspective. When I can manage to put words to my feelings, she’s generously reflective. All the criticisms that attend my words are lost in her reframing.
- Our two remarkable boys. I was nearly ready to commit Royal to involuntary fasting for the day after he threw yogurt across the floor, but both of them do such surprising and funny antics that it’s exceedingly difficult to remain frustrated long. Graham said to Amie, “I wanna show you something, Mamacita.” 😆
Inspired by blog writers I follow and a need to upgrade my CSS skills for work, I’ve released a major revamp of my site.
My themes have expanded from a binary selection to a dropdown list (thanks Amie for the Fall theme). There’s a fair amount of under-the-covers refactoring to make each piece its own component. Not using any framework gives me a better idea of what’s possible with code alone. A lot, as it turns out. The web has come a long way…
Last night the tenant above us held a bachelor’s party. The music was loud enough at 11:00 pm that we could understand it from our living room below.
At 1:00 am he knocked loudly on our kitchen window to ask that I let him inside the building because he’d forgotten his key. At 1:45 he again knocked loudly to let him inside a second time.
He works night shift at St. Francis. It’s not like him to host a crazy party, so I don’t think he’ll do it again. He apologized this morning.
I’ve been exhausted all day, and annoyed that, after a restful Saturday, I’m going into the week tired (again). There’s not space to recover from these setbacks, so it may be until next weekend before I feel more rested. Ugh.
I was once honest and vulnerable at work. But at a company I’d rather forget, I was hated for my vulnerability, which is my strength, and my honesty was shaped into a dagger and plunged into my exposed heart. Will I ever be safe to entrust myself to anyone with authority over my livelihood? Or am I consigned to live forever behind a partial mask among those who have power to hurt me?
Dilemmas such as these sweeten the prospect of self-employment, even if it will not free me from fear of harm.
My trust in the steadfast provision of the Father was once sufficient to risk unemployment, even court-martial, to be vulnerable and faithful. But my trust has not grown so fast as the increase of people who depend upon my labor for food and shelter.
Amie left to visit her parents in Madison yesterday afternoon. We ought to know by now that travel without prayer protection is a severe risk, but we’re still learning this lesson.
She drove off at the start of Royal’s nap time. At Dempster and Crawford, about twenty minutes into the trip, a warning light flashed on. Low oil pressure. She called me.
We started to troubleshoot by checking the dipstick and discovered the oil reservoir was bone dry! Amie purchased a quarter at the nearby gas station, poured half in, and watched under the car for a leak. Nothing. She cranked the engine and, behold, the oil poured onto the asphalt!
I called the shop that we’d had our oil changed at to demand he send a mechanic, but it didn’t take much - he handled it right away.
It had now been an hour into their trip. Graham was filthy from playing on the gas station ground and Royal was covered in chocolate snack and irritable from sleeplessness.
The mechanic discovered the problem - the oil filter was faulty! Whether because it was the wrong one or not, I do not know. But the mechanic hadn’t brought the right replacement, sonhe drove back to the shop for another filter.
By the time he’d returned it was over two hours into the trip. Graham was doing okay, but Royal was melting down and refusing to get into his car seat. Amie was frazzled and almost ready to come home.
The trip still happened, but oh the drama. Moral of the story - ALWAYS ask for prayer when traveling!