2023/11 Ship's Log

This weekend we pulled out all the carpet in the house, two rooms and four half-stairs, in preparation for the new carpet installation. The contractors installed it all yesterday!

I’d moved our books out of the bookshelves so I could move them downstairs. I found Graham and Royal sitting on a pile of them and let out a yell so loud Graham immediately started crying. I apologized for scaring Graham.

Next time I need to lower the volume, but I’m finding that yelling gets the rage out faster than stuffing and means I’m capable of responding kindly much sooner (not yelling at, but a loud release of emotion. Amazing what one can learn from one’s own children 🙂).

Amie and I enjoyed a relaxed planning session last night. There’s so much, if the Lord wills, that we anticipate in the new year.

Our downstairs bedroom will finally be complete. Just in time to use as an office for Amie’s counseling work in January. I’ll be starting a postulancy with the Order of the Common Life. I’m learning to let go in order to pursue further Kingdom work. And we’ll be hosting a Christmas party.

While passing the boy’s bathroom this morning I witnessed a horrifying sight. Royal was holding a plastic bag over the toilet with two inches of yellow liquid inside. The bag was dripping and there were several puddles on the floor. #parenting

The ebb and flow of my life can be abrasive, wearing me down like sand upon the smooth stones of the sea shore. My perspective has softened towards myself in the ebb, but I am not fully free of the surges of shame that accompany ebbs or the bursts of unceasing energy that mark flows. I am either an ideal or a poor candidate for a monastic order. It depends on one’s goal.

Yesterday was well spent for an ebb day. I had zero accomplishments but, by simply being a warm body, I could drive Graham and Royal to Heather’s birthday party and handle bedtime so Amie could go to dinner and a play with her father. What a strange tangle are my priorities at times that kindness and service can be discounted while intellectual pursuit is sought.