Afghan poem

After my deployment to Afghanistan in the U.S. Navy, I had a lot to process. Poetry was the result.

ℹ️

My interpretation of what happened in Afghanistan has deepened since I wrote this poetry. Don't assume you understand my current theology because you've found misunderstanding in a poem I penned in 2011.

Beginning

Swift sailing through the sea of life
Weather diverse but He is near
Spirit close calms every fear
---
Waves crash vain upon my bow
Shall circumstances rock my hold
Upon the Lord of grace foretold?
---
Nay, victory is mine through Christ
Almighty conqueror of death
The world’s released its bated breath

Trickery

The worse is past now no more work
I think I’ll take some time to rest
Comfort seems to me the best
---
Lay my head on Ease’s lap
Complacency bids me to sleep
“Hush now, there’s no watch to keep”
---
Cool breeze lulls my eyes to droop
Dreams of glory, honor, power
Only I, man of the hour

Withdrawal

Self-exalted, basement fails
Structure crumbles with a crash
Wood and stubble turn to ash
---
(Respite reveals the heart of man
When labor turns to selfish ease
Corrupt affections to appease)
---
Wake in dread, the sails have stilled
Windless, caught without a breeze
Trapped within the glassy seas
---
Face of God has turned away,
Temptation raises banner high
Without help I’ll surely die

Lament

Empty thoughts devoid of light
Stretch the hold to nearly burst
Abundant water, always thirst
---
Now my daily sustenance
Leaves me empty, incomplete
Tasteless is the Godly meat
---
What my soul had once refused
Worldly bread I once had known
In my stomach turns to stone

Questions

Accusations fill my lips
Questions swirl within my head
Am I counted as the dead?
---
Is my strength akin to stones?
Does my flesh consist of brass?
Are not all my days as grass?
---
Do I have an arm like God?
Present at the start of time?
Creator each after their kind?

Help?

I’ve no strength cannot progress
Fate hinges on holy wind
Word speaks, “He must condescend”
---
Spirit of the Living God
I have no handle on Thee
Hope only on Your mercy
---
I can’t draw the love of God
No bucket, and the well is deep
Within Joseph’s well to sleep

Repentance

Who am I to complain thus?
My iniquity ascends
Far above lofty heavens
---
I was raised in countless sins
Every day I add the cost
To Jesus’ flesh upon the cross
---
My just lot is death in hell
If were not for His mercy
As He hung upon the tree

Resolved

If I know not Christ in God
There is nowhere else to turn
I shall seek Jesus - or burn
---
Am I not Thy purchased prize?
Make me so despite my life
Thou art greater than all strife
---
You deserve my every breath
Poured out for Your endless praise
Even if my soul won’t raise
---
To life endless in Your love
Under Thy judgment I must
Say, “Lord all you speak is just”

Return

Humility floods through my soul
Limbs splayed out upon the deck
Nothing left now to protect
---
Honesty pours grimly forth
From a heart without a pulse
The hull begins to convulse
---
What is this! slips from my mouth
Sails snap to my great surprise
I can feel the breeze arise!

Exultation

God has heard my desperate prayer
Healing on His outspread wings
Mercy great my heart now sings!
---
Restored at the foot of Christ
Heart leaps in renewed delight
Jesus, Jesus fills my sight!
---
Knowing what it means to feel
Separated from the Lord
Leaving twice I can’t afford
---
Strive to walk in holy fear
Truly this is the start of
Wisdom, knowledge from above

Advance

In your Spirit daily march
Mortifying flesh by grace
Gazing always on Your face
---
Jesus take the conning wheel
Steer the ship as you see fit
Riding into bright sunset
---
Where lie the celestial shores
Promised to fathers of old
To their sons continually told

Longing

When I reach the crystal shore
Leaping from the soggy planks
I’ll join Your people on the banks
---
Of Jordan where the faithful cross
To meet our Husband in the air
The virgin bride, His love all fair
---
Sing grateful hallelujahs
To the Lamb upon the throne
Oh, I can’t wait to be home!