First anniversary

To celebrate our sixth wedding anniversary (woot!) I thought it’d be fun to recount our first from a journal entry I’d written two days after, with a few comments.

14 July 2015

It’s the first day back from Amie and I’s 1st wedding anniversary celebration.

We drove to Manistee National Forest in Michigan to spend two nights at a B&B cabin. Staying with a couple we’d never met was strange at first, like paying to visit someone else’s family, but our first morning we were able to get to know them over the delicious breakfast they cooked us. The first night we were so tired that we went straight to bed; these long trips are wearying.

The second day was more eventful. Another breakfast with Lawrence (Ashley was at work I think), and then a short trip to a canoe rental place in Baldwin. When Rich told us our trip down the Pere Marquette River would either divide or unite our marriage, I didn’t know how true that would be!

At first, I was tempted to blame Amie for our canoe’s course over-corrections. She in front, I behind, I thought she spent too much time controlling our course when I felt that was my job as the rear man - not to mention it was easier to change course from the back than the front. After a while; however, I learned to work with her paddling, and I think she became more comfortable too. Maybe that’s what Rich meant? We stopped for a snack, changed places, and learned the whole thing over again from the other’s point-of-view. But that wasn’t the best part.

When we flipped the canoe our differences really stood out. I was laughing in the adrenaline rush of the moment. Though aware of the danger of injury or being held under, I came up from my submersion laughing. Amie did not. I think she may feel hurt by my reaction, for she said that she’d wondered why I was having a good time and she was not. There were some kayakers nearby who watched the entire thing. In passing they said it looked like we were good in the water and gave some advice for righting the canoe. I was too stunned to question their decision to leave us.

After the initial shock was over, I wedged the canoe under a log to keep it from floating away. Amie captured our things before they floated down the river. I realized Amie wasn’t enjoying the experience like I was. My response was calm and directive - I feel proud of what I did in fact - while Amie became hesitant and semi-compliant. After the chaos was brought back into order and a plan established, I thought everything was okay.

I pushed the canoe out from under the log and followed it; right towards Amie! For a moment it looked like Amie might be struck by the canoe; that’s why I think she broke down at that point and began to shake and cry. With my feet buried in the smooth stones of the creek bed, one arm holding the canoe and another around Amie, whispering “I’ve got you,” we stood in the river for a while till Amie regained her composure. Then together we managed to pour most of the water out of the canoe. Because the current was strong and the water deep, Amie wasn’t able to move from her place, so I helped her get to where I’d moored the now-floating canoe.

If all that wasn’t bad enough, not long after we’d begun to drift down the river, I froze while we were heading towards an overhanging tree branch and it flipped Amie over into the canoe, giving her a small cut on her hand! Rich was right, it is a testimony that we still loved each other after the entire ordeal was over. We agreed it was great fun and we’d do it again.

That evening Amie and I sat on the beach and had a long discussion about love. Over the past couple weeks, she’d completed our first year scrapbook and written eight letters for me to read on special occasions. She felt that it wasn’t fair because I didn’t have the time to do something as special for her. I also struggled to receive it because I felt ashamed that I didn’t have a gift for her. In light of this, we spoke about how we both can easily move into keeping tally of one another’s acts of love. Either we feel pressure to love better because we feel that the other is out-doing us, or we slacken our love because the other isn’t keeping up. Instead, we both desire that our love would be free of comparison and out of delight instead of duty.

We had a wonderful trip back to Chicago. Amie drove and I read “How To Kill A Mockingbird” out loud the whole way.