Hilarious Bilson family quotes

This is a tear-inducing, hilarious list of quotes and circumstances with our boys Graham and Royal. Enjoy!

Sept 25, 2021

Graham: "Sorry mama." (in regards to some very minor infraction).

Amie: "It's ok Graham, I forgive you."

Graham: "I forgive you too."

Amie: "Oh, what do you forgive me for?"

Graham: (turns and starts playing with his trucks, and quietly under his breath) "So much...so so much."

Sept 26, 2021

Graham: "Look mama, a cement mixer."

Amie: "Oh I missed it. You saw a cement mixer?"

Graham: "You miss alot mama. So so much."

Sept 27, 2021

Graham: "I love Royal (first time he has ever said this!), but sometimes he smashes my train."

Oct 2021

Graham: "Hi Mamacita"

Royal has a hard time taking his nap, so I go in to check on him. He smiles, puts both hands on my cheeks and gives me a nose snuggle. Then promptly lays down and goes to sleep.

Graham: "My teeth hurt." "Can you show me where?" He points to his "tooth" far in the back of his throat.

Graham: Holding up a plastic toy otter. "Look mama he has poo" (referring to the tail)

Oct 20, 2021

I helped Graham and Royal climb a tree branch today. Graham was proud of himself for learning to jump off without help, and Royal doesn't want to be left out so he climbed right behind Graham! They are amazing little boys. I love them so much.

November 2021

Graham: "Mama, the birds ate all the leaves off the trees. They like eating leaves a lot!" (Autumn in Chicago!)

Graham: Long and sweet sounding, "Maaaaaa Maaaaaa!" Followed by a staccato, slightly angry sounding, "mma ma!!" A regular tune I hear these days.

Amie: "Graham, come get dressed for school."

(Graham running around like a race car.)

Graham: "But my engine won't turn off mama!"

Royal tried out some new dance moves tonight. He discovered that he can shake his butt and wiggle is shoulders. We laughed a lot!

Amie: "Graham do you want to stay here and play with Amar or go to the park?"

Graham: (pause…) "I HAVE to go dig in the sand."

Graham: "Ouch, I hurt my toe."

Amie: "Oh Graham…"

Graham: "I OK!"

Amie: "Royal, that's Graham's toothbrush!" (Said almost everyday in the last two months)

Alex half reading a book to Graham.

Graham: "Mama, Papa isn't doing it."

Graham: "Look the construction trucks are back! Waaahooo!" (As all the adults are surely grumbling!)

Graham: "I want to see the car wash, Lankey (the giraffe at the putt putt golf place), and the trains today!"

(Our drive to school has become quite adventuresome! We also keep tabs on the ambulance parked at a nursing home we drive past.)

Amie: "What's in your mouth Graham?"

(Chunks of black falling out of his mouth.)

Graham: "Coffee"

Royal: "Whoa! Wow! Whoa" repeated over and over while watching National Geographic's Whale documentary on Disney.

Amie: "We need to go Graham. You can clean the grass when we get back."

In the checkout lane at the grocery store after the groceries we placed in the cart and I was paying. Royal slyly looks around then pulls out an entire carton of grapes from one of the bags.

Dec 2021

"I like Jesus." Graham, 3 yrs

(Alex taking a shower. Graham walks in)

Graham: "I have a penis. Do you have a penis papa? You have a BIG penis!"

Amie: "Whose birthday are we celebrating Graham?

Graham: "Jesus!"

"I love you in the morning and in the afternoon. I love you in the evening and underneath the moon" (the first song Graham has started to sing with me.)

Coming out of his room on Christmas morning (Graham), "it's so exciting!"

Christmas Eve: Both boys diagnosed with hand foot and mouth virus. And Royal with croup and developing ear infection. Not how we thought Christmas was going to start.

January 2022

(Royal wakes Graham at 5:30 a.m.)

Graham: "It's not funny Royal. I'm still waking up!"

Graham "Papa, I'm still waking up. My engine is not working."

Graham: "Mama, I'm still learning to drive. But I know how to work the wipers!"

Graham: "Mama, you need to be careful, it's very lippery."

Amie: "Are you learning that at school Graham?"

Graham: "No, I just be quiet at school."

Royal: "I want that!" (Nnnnn dat) constantly these days

"Noooo!" (Says the push button toy…and now so does Royal!)

"Ooooh!" Royal excitedly exclaims, pointing at a piece of lint on the floor. "Ahhhh" his affectionate sound directed towards the lint. Then he promptly stomps it with his foot, saying, "got it!"

Graham came into the bedroom and saw a small bit of spilled water on the floor. Alex happened to be standing near it.

Graham: "Papa peed on the floor!"

February 2022

Graham making a "call" on the phone in the hotel: "Yeah, can you bring me a humpback whale and a chicken? And some snow and some water. And a pizza."

Alex and I laughed outside the boys bedroom tonight…Royal was making loud fake farting sounds as he was falling asleep.

Amie: "Royal, go back into the kitchen with your food. Next time you leave the kitchen with your food I will take it away."

Graham: (from the kitchen), "Is that for me too mama?"

Amie: "Yes Graham, you too. Food stays in the kitchen."

Graham: "Oh, ok…I'm not going to give up."

Graham: "Royal, can I snuggle on your face?!"

March 2022

Graham: "What's that mama?" (pointing to a box)

Amie: "Oh it's Royals birthday present."

Graham: "Royal should share with me."

Amie: "Well I think it's a gift he should be able to easily share with you."

Graham: "Oh, so there are two in that box?"

Amie: "No just one."

Graham: (pensive and confused)

(4-5 days later, out of the blue.)

Graham: "Wait a second… has Royal opened his present?"

Amie: "No, not yet. It's not his birthday yet."

Graham: "Oooh, Royal has been waiting soooo long to open his present." (Royal knows nothing about the present).

Royal pood in the bath tonight…a more regular occurance than i ever imagined! Alex said, "I give you anything you want if you clean it up!"

We went in to Royal's bedroom and sang happy birthday this morning. Royal scowled and said “No!” Then I took him to the living room to snuggle and he threw up on me. This is how Royals second birthday started! We all had a fun day celebrating Royal!!

April 2022

Graham: "Royal I don't want you to have that." (Moves toy to other part of the table)

Royal: "Why?!"

Graham: "Because I don't want you to break it."

Royal: "Why?"

Graham: "Because …"

Royal: "Why?"

Graham: "Because…"

Royal: "Why??"

Graham: (deep sigh and moan) "Because…"

Royal: "Why?!"

Graham: "Royal, I've told you many many many many times!"

(Glad to know I'm not the only one that get exasperated by the "Why?!")

Great grandmother came for a visit and left two weeks ago. Royal keeps asking where she is. Today he said, "Where’s Nanny?!” I said, “She had to go home to her house which is far away. “ He slumps down in his seat and says, “Ohhhh Nanny” with a big sigh.

This morning I drizzled honey on the boys' pancakes. Graham exclaimed, "You made a dog mama! Good job, I knew you could do it!"

Graham came out of his bedroom this morning, a bit grumpy and hungry. Royal had already been up and eating breakfast. Graham came in the kitchen and saw his placemat without food then noticed all the food on Royals mat (if we put food on Grahams mat Royal will eat it). Passionately frustrated Graham whines, "Maaaamaaaa, I've got nothin! Look, I've got nothin!"

Royal ate two containers of yogurt this morning. I thought this kind of eating wouldn't start until they were teenagers.

Royal had a follow up dental appointment today to check the two front teeth you broke on Saturday. He impressed the office staff when he laid by himself in the chair, opened and closed his mouth as requested for the X-rays. I think he really loves going to the doctor and dentist. And they love him! The dentist came in and laid his chair back and he promptly opened his mouth wide!

I bought new underwear for Graham. I helped him into a pair with sharks on them and he started jumping around saying "ouch! Ouch! The sharks are biting me!"

Royal laughing, "I'm funny!

Royal woke early this morning around 5:45. I was so tired so I thought I'd pull him into bed and see if he would snuggle for a few minutes before getting up. I dozed off and woke seeing Royal sitting on top of Alex with the biggest grin. Alex- "Get off me Graham!" (Poor Graham wasn't even awake yet!). As I helped Royal get off of Alex, he laughed saying "That's funny!"

May 2022

Graham: "Mama, do you want to wink with me?!"

June 2022

I was showing Graham pictures of our new home. "Whoa that's ours?! We gave a garage!! Oooh, they have janglebones!" (Referring to a big weaving loom in one of the photos that belongs to the former owners)

I've been trying to help Graham practice wiping his own butt after using the toilet. He is somewhat resistant because he says it's too hard. So I've been telling him that he needs to practice. Today he said to me, "Mama, next time you do the whole thing. You need to practice." Apparently I need to get better at wiping his butt. Lol!

Graham's association to bones is that they are found in the ground like dinosaur bones. Today he was fascinated to learn that we have bones in our bodies! We spent time feeling our bones.

August 2022 (in SD)

Graham: "Don't touch this rock Mama." (pointing to a large rock in our front yard.)

Amie: "Why?"

Graham: "It has a big booger on it!"

Sept 2022

Royal: "I want Grandma now! (Impatiently saying this over and over despite my reassurance we would be to Grandma's house soon.)"

Amie: "You know what Mr. Rogers says…It is very very very very very very very hard to wait. Do you think that's true Royal?"

Royal: "No!" (Short pause) "I want grandma now!"

October 2022

December 2022

Royal: "Sun up mama?"

Amie: "Yes, it's just a little cloudy today."

Royal: "Hiking now?"

(The sun is up so why wouldn't we be hiking? Royal is loving hiking these days!)

It's sometimes difficult to understand what Royal is saying so I will often guess. He has been using this word that I can't figure out, but to my ears it sounds like a Brittish man saying, "Murder....Muuurrrdaaaa." It makes me laugh every time I hear it.

(The four of us driving to the library and Royal was singing to himself.)

Royal: "Yes! Nooo! Yes, no, yes, no!"

Alex: "Are you Smeagol?"

Royal: "No! I'm Royal!" (pause...) "Murdaaaa!"

(Amie singing and making up a song in the car.)

Royal: "Stop stop, me want to la la la."

Amie: "Oh you want a turn to sing?"

Royal: "Yes, la la la..."

March 2022

Royal (screaming): I wanna go coffee shop, no!

Alex: Ok, I get it. You don't want to go to the coffee shop.

Royal (louder): Coffee shop, no!

Alex: I understand. No coffee shop today.

Royal (loudest): Coffee shop, no!!!

(There's not much of a sound difference between "no" and "now." My mistake.)

Alex: The dinosaur nuggets are ready. Want one?

(Amie eats one while Alex is distracted)

Alex: Wait, were's the pterodactyl? You ate the pterodactyl? Now there's only one!

(When the boys preferred the pterodactyl dino nugget and each had to have his own)

April 2022

Amie: What’s the best thing you did today?

Graham: go outside

Royal: come inside