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Human motivation is a moving continuum
A question on every parent’s mind is, “how do I motivate my child to do what is good?” Self-Determination Theory, or SDT, uses scientific methods to explore factors that both enhance and detract from human motivation. Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation Many parents have heard about intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, but let’s define them. Intrinsic motivation is when a person wants to do a task purely for the pleasure of it. The reward is in the doing, so to speak, and not tied to anything outside the person’s own curiosity and interest.…
Any attempt to bring out ideas into reality must fall short
We fail to see, or refuse to accept, that any attempt to bring our ideas into concrete reality must inevitably fall short of our dreams, no matter how brilliantly we succeed in carrying things off–because reality, unlike fantasy, is a realm in which we don’t have limitless control, and can’t possibly hope to meet our perfectionist standards.
Embrace your limits to sap distraction
When you focus on something you deem important, you’re forced to face your limits, an experience that feels especially uncomfortable precisely because the task at hand is one you value so much… Killing time on the internet often doesn’t feel especially fun, these days. But it doesn’t need to feel fun. In order to dull the pain of finitude, it just needs to make you feel unconstrained… The overarching point is that what we think of as “distractions” aren’t the ultimate cause of our being distracted.…
My actual life will inevitably prove disappointing by comparision with the fantasy
It’s easy for me to fantasize about, say, a life spent achieving stellar professional success, while also excelling as a parent and partner, while also dedicating myself to training for marathons or lengthy meditation retreats or volunteering in my community–because so long as I’m only fantasizing, I get to imagine all of them unfolding simultaneously and flawlessly. As soon as I start trying to live any of those lives, though, I’ll be forced to make trade-offs–to put less time than I’d like into one of those domains, so as to make space for another–and to accept that nothing I do will go perfectly anyway, with the result that my actual life will inevitably prove disappointing by comparison with the fantasy.…